In a Dark Place
As the title says, I’m in a very dark place mentally. This was probably brought on, at least in part, due to some miscommunication about my medications and the doctors mistakenly reducing the dosage of my most important medication. I was on the wrong dose for a couple weeks before I went back on the correct, higher dosage. It’s been a couple weeks since the correction, but my depression has really set in. I keep having very dark thoughts. I’m hurting emotionally so much that it has begun hurting me physically. I haven’t been able to eat much at all. The very thought of food now makes me sick to my stomach. I keep having crying fits that seem like they will never end. I can’t keep myself from dwelling on how bad certain things are.
Today, I visited my therapist and psychiatrist for some much-needed help. I worked through some things with my therapist and then my psychiatrist reworked my medications a little to help me get back on track as soon as possible. Here’s hoping today’s help will help.
In my darkness, I posted an ominous update on my Facebook. I wasn’t trying to get attention, I’m just always honest about how I’m doing and how I feel when I update my friends and family. Even so, many of my friends and a few of my family members posted messages of worry and support while some even messaged me to let me know I can talk to them about whatever at any time. I’ve got to admit, it helped a great deal to know that so many people care about me.
There’s something else. For a great many months, I’ve been thinking about getting a Goffin’s Cockatoo for both companionship and emotional support. I don’t want to jinx it but, the time might be near that my dream may come true. I’ve found the perfect bird from a reputable breeder who truly cares about the parrots they raise. The problem is, I’ve got to convince my mom to let me get the little cockatoo. To help pay for the bird and all that it will need, I have made the decision to sell the vast majority of my Funko Pops collection. I haven’t found a buyer yet but hopefully I will soon. It was a difficult decision but, I believe it was the right one. I desperately need my dream of having a Goffin’s Cockatoo become a reality.
For now, I have a LOT of work to do to get things ready. I’m got to get all of my Pops that I want to sell together and re-check their conditions. I need to dismantle my huge old entertainment center because I’ll no longer need it and that’s where I intend to put the cage. Also take down all of my Pop shelves since I’ll no longer be needing them either. I’ve got my to-do list for today all written up so now I’ve just got to turn it into a is-done list.