Goodbye My Beloved
It was almost 24 hours ago that I said goodbye for the last time to my beloved little Aayla. The last time those sad little eyes will ever look at me. The last time I’ll ever pet her soft fur or hold her in my arms. This hurts so much. I knew it would hurt but this is a pain like no other. I don’t know how I’m going to endure this.
I chose to have Aayla cremated. I should receive her ashes back in a couple weeks. I purchased an urn for her ashes on Etsy last night. It should get here first or around the same time. I hope it gets here first. I haven’t decided where to put the urn yet. Somewhere close by to be sure. Maybe on top of my office bookcase. She spent most of her time in her, because I spend most of my time in here.
This is so hard. I’ve never felt a pain like this before. I’ve never cried this much before. I just don’t know what to do. Mom says I need time to heal but that I’ll always feel some of this pain. Dad wants to get me a new dog. I don’t know about that just yet. It’s probably too soon. I thought having Jojo would help when this time came but no. Part of me doesn’t even want him here.
I feel sick. I’m going to go lay down now.